i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
