I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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