i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
