I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Randomize
