I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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