There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
