Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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