Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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