Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
where does the pee come out of this thing
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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