Christians are straight up FREAKS
i just google imaged poop.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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