At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
is it fun? or sober?
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