gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
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