dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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