i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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