And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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