All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
