put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
