you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
