All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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