Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
