Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
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