I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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