Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
