im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Im part way to drunk.
Randomize
