so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
