My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
