party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
