Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
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