So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
