she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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