So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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