Heybabeimwearingurpanties
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
