yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
NoShamevember. You game?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
So vagazzling was a success
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
