They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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