bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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