Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
