She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Randomize
