I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
