new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
