I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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