he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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