at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
