Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
