dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
i may or may not be watching the land before time
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Girls should come with a carfax report
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Randomize
