if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
