Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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