Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
