Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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