Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
