just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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