i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
