they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
